Another girl has lost her life, her parents have been found guilty of murder. Their guilt is being linked to a Christian based book called “To Train Up a Child”. The books authors are Michael and Debi Pearl. The Pearls have absolutely no training for child psychology or psychology in any form. I am a strong advocate for a discipline and reward system. That is not what this book is about. It is strictly for punishment before any wrong has been done. That in my eyes is not in the name of Christianity. It would seem that this book is either filled with Islamic torture masked behind a few scriptures that have been twisted out of the realm of the reality they were intended for. Or the authors have so much hatred for children that they wanted to again twist scripture and help others find ways to torture their children, others who are weak and looking for guidance in raising their children. Some looking for guidance in a biblical way “or so they thought”.
I don’t reward my children for throwing a temper tantrum, but I never thought of actually disciplining them at infancy for crying! An infant only cries to communicate, but in the Pearls book they believe in starting the forceful spanking at infancy, that way a child knows crying will not get them anything, except more ‘spankings’.
(Once he learns that the reward of a tantrum is a swift, forceful spanking, he will NEVER throw another fit….If a parent starts at infancy, discouraging the first crying demands, the child will never develop the habit) The Pearls claim children need to be trained with the rod to realize the consequences up front and sometimes this means personal learning/experience. In chapter 10 , the Pearls offer examples of quick, decisive training. Chapter 10, has their personal examples: Gun Safety? Place an old empty gun within arm’s reach of a child , say “No” then have hand-switching sessions. Hot stove? Heat up the stove till it’s hot to the touch; open the door to get them attracted to the flames. As they run to the door to grab it say “Hot!” and the kid winds up learning in one try that it is hot. Pond out back? Walk the kid over to the pond and stay behind them as they lean over it and let them fall in. With one child, he actually had to nudge the kid in.
(Punishment must always be for things that are punishable. If a child has had all their needs met and isn’t in pain then the parent knows that there is no reason for the child to be crying. This can be punished. If one of those necessary things are in place (say, the child is tired) then put the child to bed; don’t punish him. But otherwise, the child, no matter the age, must be trained with the rod—not your hand.)
The Pearls words of wisdom are never use your hand. Hands are for loving and helping. If an adult swings their hand fast enough to cause pain to the surface of the skin, there is a danger of damaging bones and joints. The most painful nerves are just under the surface of the skin. A swift swat with a light, flexible instrument will sting without bruising or causing internal damage. Many people are using a section of ¼ inch plumber’s supply line as a spanking instrument. It will fit in your purse or hang around you neck. You can buy them for under $1.00 at any hardware store. They come cheaper by the dozen. Keeping it in a high profile spot keeps the kids in line.
The Pearls No Greater Joy Ministry still manages to pull in 1.7 million dollars even with this controversy surrounding them. I know children need proper teaching, that includes discipline it also includes rewards, love and compassion. I grew up with a father like the Pearls. Although he did not go to any measures to hide his. He used his closed fist, belt, pepper spray, much more, it was whatever was available to him at the time. If a tear fell you got more until the tears stopped. So This hits home for me. This book and the controversial deaths surrounding it, prove that there are weak and disturbed individuals out there. That will listen and do whatever they are told, even to their own children. How many childrens deaths have to be linked to this book before something is done.
Yes it is on the individual that follows through, they all deserve punished for the blood of these children. The book needs to be taken off the shelves, so no one else that is mentally unfit can purchase it. Then maybe they will seek real help for their children.